The Human–Animal Bond
The number-one reason people give for pet ownership is companionship. Companion animals represent many things to us. They are our best friends, our partners, our siblings, our children. Companion animals often are our main source of social support. They offer us unconditional love and expect very little in return.
We become attached to our companion animals throughout the course of our relationships with them. This companionship and attachment combined with the emotional, physical and financial investment we make in our pets, shapes our bond with them. The human–animal bond represents the types of relationships we have with our companion animals. We form these relationships for many reasons; physical, social, emotional and psychological. Our animals get us out of the house and encourage exercise. Animals help us through difficult times in our lives. Often, our companion animals are a connection to other significant people who are no longer in our lives. The simple act of petting an animal helps up relax. Pet ownership may even contribute to lower blood pressure, heart rate and cholesterol. “The types of relationships people have with their companion animals … involves an emotional attachment … affection and responsibility for the well- being of the animal” (Toray, T. [2004]. “The human–animal bond and loss: Providing support for grieving clients,” Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 26 [3], 244–59).
When the bond is broken, we experience a vast range and depth of emotions. These emotions are normal and can include, but are not limited to, anger, regret, despair, pain, relief, guilt, shame and loneliness. It is okay to express your emotions. Cry, scream, talk it out. Bottling up your emotions because “no one will understand” can lead to increased stress and perhaps complicate your grieving process. Remember and reflect on all the good times you had with your pet in addition to grieving the loss of your companion animal.
When an individual has little or no support to deal with the loss of a pet, the grief and mourning experienced can be overwhelming and isolating. One of the struggles associated with pet loss is the difficulty in finding a support network (personal and professional) that is ready and willing to help you cope with your loss. Talk to other pet lovers in your family and support circle. If you don’t have a friend or family member with whom you feel comfortable talking, ask your veterinarian for a referral to a counselor or pet bereavement group.
Resources on the Human–Animal Bond